So I'm back for sure. Mainly for reasons like keeping my sanity, and needing to see my thoughts down on some sort of media. To those of you who will see this, it's going to be honest and personal stuff. So if you don't care, or don't have anything constructive to say, then remain silent please.

Things are pretty strange nowadays. I'll not be posting everything right now, but I will probably make a post later today when I have had a chance to think about things a little more.

Living in Tallahassee, hate my job, have no friends nearby, my family back in Plant City is having all sorts of humongous problems that I may or may not get into, and I'm more than kinda fucking sick of not knowing where I'm going in life or what I want to do.


That's about the state of things in my little corner of the world.

So yeah, I know that I never really update anymore, but since I am moving I figured that I would update everyone who cares to read on what's happened and what is going down.

- I've decided that for my own good I am going to leave the Brandon area and move somewhere where I can concentrate on doing well in school. Considering that I have friends all over the state AND the country, I have decided to move to Tallahassee to go to TCC and then FSU.

- I was thinking of deleting this journal completely because I never use it anymore, but I kind of like having it here so I can look back on times that might be better than those to come. Unfortunately, I don't really meet with anyone on my lj socially or in real life, so it's more or less kind of depressing to me so I don't expect to be on here very much anymore.


So, for those of you who might read this wish me luck, because I know I will probably need it! ^_^

Sound like me? =O
Stoled from bobbarker. lol

And this one.



messy, disorganized, social, tough, outgoing, rarely worries, self revealing, open, risk taker, likes the unknown, likes large parties, makes friends easily, likes to stand out, likes to make fun of people, reckless, optimistic, positive, strong, does not like to be alone, ambivalent about chaos, abstract, impractical, not good at saving money, fearless, trusting, thrill seeker, not rule conscious, enjoys leadership, strange, loves food, abstract, rarely irritated, anti-authority, attracted to the counter culture

I have a question for all those in the lj "know". =D

How do I make it so that I am a member of a community, but so it doesn't FLOOD my friends page with garbage I don't care about? lmao

---

In other news!

I was looking through the Tampa Tribune classifieds and saw several job opportunities that just screamed me. xDD
Nude model was the first, although when I called and asked for more information it began to sound more like porn than just modelling. ö.ö
And that would be just SLIGHTLY awkward for the rest of my life. lmao
The search continues! =D

On Judgment Day, trumpets will sound, and I will be forced to battle The Eagles for the souls of all humanity.

And I will win.
Unless I succumb to their horribly depressing emo-music from the 70's.

Because I was told I had to.

1)- I remove my clothing and walk around naked. Everywhere. Very few exceptions.
2)- In the confines of my own home, I will listen to electronic music loudly while dancing and/or jumping around to the music. Rarely done elsewhere. This sometimes overlaps with the actions of #1.
3)- I do not laugh very often, but when I do it is usually loud, hearty laughter occurring in the middle of the night. Which irritates my parents to no end.
4)- My nudity(see #1) also applies to sleep.
5_- My bedroom door's lock is busted, and the curtains in all rooms of the house but mine are constantly open. My neighbors should learn it is impolite to stare.
6)- I have a humongous lack of singing ability, which I demonstrate during the daylight hours while dancing(#2) in the nude(#1).
7)- #1 also applies to doing chores around the house as well as outside of the house. That being said, I have been told to do my chores wearing at least boxers, or wait til the sun goes down.
8)- I eat peanut butter straight from the jar. But I do it with a spoon at least, or a fork sometimes. Maybe even a knife.
9)- I have a SEVERE problem with laziness/procrastination/lethargy. This causes me to try and multi-task as many things as possible to reduce energy expenditures on my part.
10)- I like to set things on fire. This is potentially problematic when #'s 1,2, and 9 coincide. This has resulted in partial facial burns and loss of hair of large parts of my body.
11)- I love the smell of incense, though I recommend not trying to light them while in the nude and moving around. Especially with flammable liquids nearby.
12)- I have a higher resistance to cold temperatures than to warmer, so winter is not a problem with the lifestyle choice of #1.
13)- I drink fairly heavily, and sometimes have trouble discerning when I have had enough. This has resulted in nudity in places where the exceptions of #1 would normally apply. Such as International Drive and a large portion of the city of Atlanta surrounding the Renaissance Waverly Hotel & The Cobb Galleria Centre.
14)- All of these things are quite likely to happen again, sadly. Except for the burns.
15)- pinus

And now... pictures. o.o
( Click at your own risk...yeah... )

Maaan.
I feel lost. =/
I can't seem to "get it together". Like getting a job, doing my school work, or anything really.
I don't know wth is keeping me from doing the things I know I need to do.
Today will be a dedicated attempt to accomplish all the crap I know I HAVE to get done, because I know the consequences will be things I am not able to handle any more than what I already have to do.

Whatever.
I tell myself that, and then just lie around doing nothing like always.
It irritates me after the fact that I cannot come to terms with things.

---

My car insurance is quite ridiculous, like "more than my mother and father insured for three cars...times two" kind of ridiculous.
And I am going to have to start paying that all myself soon.
Which means I have to get a job, and I'll have to work enough that I'm not losing money by just working.
Which means I'll have to work someplace relatively close.

Just another step towards permanence in this fucking place.
Dreams are the stuff of pipes.

Which way is it spinning?

I say clockwise.
But I don't agree with everything that says about me. lol

What do you think?

God dammit. Either I am dying, or I have kidney stones. And considering where all my pain is centered at, I am thinking that the kidney stones are far more likely. T___T

This hurts more than I could have ever imagined.

A thought: "Every new experience in life changes you."

It could even be simplified to "Everything you experience changes you."



Brought upon by realizing that I am not the same person I was a year ago, both physically and mentally speaking.
Also, Heraclitus was one of my favorites that I studied in Philosophy.

死体 は...フェク! :O

"Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live."

- Mark Twain

One of the few things I like from Twain...that quote. ^_^

Some weird shit... o_o

Windows Media Player - wmv
http://www25.advfilms.com/trailers/Web%20Movies/VPN%20Narrated%2060_4x3wmv9_HighBand.wmv


QuickTime - mov
http://www25.advfilms.com/trailers/Web%20Movies%20QT/VPN%20Narrated%2060_4x3mov_H264_HighBand.mov

well i havent posted yet but i intend to make a very long post about metrocon X.X i just cant seem to complete it though. i always have to stop in the middle of my posts because i get bored about posting. I don't know why. just not my cup of tea i guess ^_^



Edit:10/2?/2006

Journal is Friends Only. ^_~